At a few gatherings of mid life women this past year the conversation turned to the topic of feeling “invisible” in our society. This came up on more than one occasion and with different women. Many women expressed feelings of dismay that within our youth culture their older selves were not deemed valuable or attractive.

     I noticed that the women who felt this way were unhappy and overwhelmed in their lives. They had an attitude of resignation and disempowerment. Their energy was low. It reminded me of Tinkerbell’s light growing dim in Peter Pan.

     Feeling invisible has a lot to do with two important factors. One is self-concept. The other is happiness. What we think about ourselves and how happy we are with the way we are living really impacts every aspect of our lives.

     Truly happy, vibrant, passionate women are never invisible no matter what their age. People instinctively want to be around them… there is a sort of gravitational pull… as if some of that intangible magic will rub off on them! These women are in love with life. They have made choices that suit them and honor their values. They really like people… they are genuinely interested in others and in the world around them. They are fascinated, present and fully engaged in life. They exude a kind of glamour and self confidence and pride. They have learned how to make themselves happy (even though their lives have not been perfect or easy).

     How to claim this for yourself? Start with sorting out your life. Take stock. What delights you in your life? What doesn’t? What lifts your energy? What makes it plummet? How can you start doing more of what you love and less of what you don’t? How can you alter your experience of the things in your life that you are unable to change at the moment?….

     Acknowledgement… first of yourself and then of others. Look at that woman in the mirror and really love her! Smile at her and believe in her. Give yourself the things you need and desire. Take time for your feminine nature… the womanly things that make you happy. Dare I say it… a bubble bath with your favorite fragrant bath gel… complete with music, candles and wine or sparkling water in a stemware glass! Dress in something pretty every day. Wear your favorite jewelry and makeup… just for yourself. Sensuality. Glamour. It feels good. We exude something totally different when we care for ourselves. Positive energy attracts. Vow to put joy and delight in your life every day and in every way you can think of. Really make the commitment to your own happiness. Nourish yourself body, mind, heart and soul.

     The more you nurture yourself and make yourself happy, the more that happiness outflows to other people. Then when you venture out in the world… you treat everyone you meet as a special, unique being. You acknowledge them. Look them in the eyes and smile. Really connect human to human. You will never know the power of a simple smile and the difference it could make in someone’s day (and life). This was beautifully portrayed in the film “About Time”. It can transform your life!

     Invisible? No Way! Not You! Let Your “Heart Light” Shine!