Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda… Dealing With the Regrets That Haunt Us

We all have things in our past that we regret… perceived mistakes, decisions made, opportunities not taken. Things that, with hindsight, could have worked out better. Most of us beat ourselves up mentally and emotionally for what we shoulda done, coulda done, or woulda done if only we knew then what we know now.

It’s time to release the past. It’s time to let go of all the old baggage, emotional angst, and self-bashing stories we rehash in our minds. These heavy thoughts of guilt, shame, and regret weigh down our energy, and rob us of our joy and well-being. It’s time to realize we did the best we could at the time. We are all human… and there is not one among us who has lived a perfect, regret free life.

How much of your past are you still carrying around?

It’s time to wipe the slate clean… to consciously let go of toxic thoughts, emotions, and regret. It’s time to breathe a breath of fresh air and begin to create anew.

It’s time to love yourself enough to forgive yourself and reset your focus on the present… right here, right now.

It’s time to create your life with brand new energy and unlimited possibilities! Now is where your power is. Tap into your natural enthusiasm, passion, inspiration, and love of life. Honor yourself and who you are and what you know now. Be kind to yourself.

If you find yourself dwelling on the shoulda, coulda, woulda thoughts of regret in the future… be aware… and kick them to the curb and let them go. Remind yourself of who you really are… a beloved and divine being. Think kind, compassionate thoughts of love and self-value. And bring yourself back to the present. You have the power to choose your thoughts, and thereby affect your feelings. Bless the past and move on. You deserve to be happy.

 “Don’t live your life regretting yesterday. Live your life so tomorrow you won’t regret today.” ~ Catherine Pulsifer

“Stop fretting about past decisions. They have provided valuable wisdom. Go forward without fear or regret.” ~ Paul Martens

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” ~ Victoria Holt

Vintage Goddesses

 

Let me tell you about The Goddess Tribe! I know a very cool group of women that were in my very first Woman’s Inner Journey workshop. These women all bonded and became friends. They named themselves The Goddess Tribe.

The bond of womanhood is strong and sacred. The Divine Feminine within each of us is pure and precious… no matter what age we are. We are nurturers, creators, and seekers of beauty. We are helpers and healers. We are both fragile and vulnerable at times… and strong and resilient most of the time. We possess infinite wisdom and our intuition is keen. We are spirited, sensitive and sensuous. We feel deeply and love freely. We value kindness. We are lovers… of life, each other, the earth, and ourselves. We are passionate beings… and we have a sense of wonder and awe for nature, people, art and this magnificent world we live in. And… we are fun, sassy, and highly creative too!

Our feminine hearts are still vibrant and radiant past our 50’s, 60’s, 70’s… and beyond. The Divine Feminine is alive within us. We are women! We are still Goddesses… albeit Vintage Goddesses… and the qualities of a Goddess are many… all of truth, beauty, love, and joy.

Let us cherish our femininity. Let us put forth our unique gifts into the world, and embrace all beings with love and care. Let us acknowledge ourselves and each other for the beautiful and Divine beings we really are. Let’s infuse our daily lives with joy and deep appreciation.

My new Facebook Group is for all Vintage Goddesses to come together, and inspire and support each other to make this time of life a wonderful and grand adventure! Women thrive in community. My new group is a safe space for us to share our wisdom and resources with each other. I have many wonderful things planned for us to do just that! Please join me! The more the merrier!

Click here to join Vintage Goddesses! (Facebook link to group)

Rene Cerrito CPCC
The Well-Lived Life

Also read The Bond Of Womanhood (link is safe to open)

 

Creative… Who Me? Yes You!

We are all born creative. Yes… you read that right. Everyone is creative. We all have innate creativity within us. How we express and channel it has a lot to do with what we love, what inspires us, what we’re passionate about and what has meaning to us personally.

Most people think of creativity as being the domain of artists, musicians, writers or dancers etc. That is simply the way those individuals choose to express. Creativity is not limited to the arts. It could be science, or business. It could be cooking or gardening… or anything really. It could also be the way one lives… creating beauty in the everyday with a beautiful home environment and a graceful way of life. It could be travel and exploring different cultures. Or the way one expresses their identity through their appearance… with clothes, hair, jewelry, makeup, or skin art.

Creativity could also be demonstrated in what others might deem mundane. I knew a woman with a housecleaning and organization business. She took such pride and care with every little detail… even the way she displayed glasses in a cabinet or organized a drawer or closet. She put her heart into her work and got such creative satisfaction out of it.

People have expressed their creativity in infinite ways throughout the ages and across the globe. You are creative too! Own it! Enjoy it! What do you love? What are you passionate about. What do you yearn to express? Allow your imagination free reign. Bring your creativity into your daily life in whatever way feels wonderful to you.

One caveat: don’t limit, censor or judge yourself. That kills natural creativity. And if you want to learn something in the arts… go for it. Start! Be willing to be a beginner. Play with it. Let your ideas percolate. Stay inspired. Have a vivid and colorful imagination. Tune into yourself and beckon the muse.

Start to notice all the ways you express your creativity. What do you enjoy in your life now? What do you do whole-heartedly? What commands your focus and attention with such pleasure that the minutes and hours evaporate? What fascinates you?

Creativity is your birthright! Believe it. Let yours flourish. Delight yourself!

“Talent Is Inborn… Know How Is Acquired”
~ Barbara Sher & Annie Gottlieb

You Do You Boo!

“You Do You Boo!”

This was from an Old Navy television Christmas advertisement… about pajamas of all things!

Great message though… you do you (and I’ll do me). You are free to self-express… in this case your style; but taking it deeper… your desires, values, choices, etc.

You are a truly unique being. There never was, or ever will be, another you. You have gifts to bring to the world… that only you can. So, to be authentically yourself is a wonderful thing!

Celebrate yourself! Enjoy yourself! And most of all… love yourself!

 

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are”
~Joseph Campbell

Playing With What If

What If… You could live your life the way you really want to… live your most cherished dreams? What if!!!?

Abraham-Hicks* calls this the What If Game. The trick to playing the what if game is to keep it focused in the present… with a look to the future.

What is your heart’s desire? What do you really, really want (to be, do, have, experience)?

Children do this naturally. They play with this all the time in a joyful and positive way. They are so in tune with their imaginations and desires.

How did we, as adults, allow our natural enthusiasm, exuberance, and faith to dissipate. How did we let Tinkerbell’s light go out?

Time to get it back! Play with What If. This makes a great journaling prompt. Get a sheet of paper and a pen and write down What If. Make a list of all the wonderful things you would love to happen in your life… all the rich experience you would love to have. Really get in touch with yourself and your true desires. Don’t censor yourself. Don’t allow what you now think is possible or probable to creep into your consciousness. List your heart’s desires. Really use your imagination to create images and feelings of your desires. Be free with this.

What If… I changed my thinking to BELIEVE that I can have the life I desire?

What If…

  • What If… I Can actually create my life and true desires?
  • What If… I can really learn to……?
  • What If… I could actually live there?
  • What If… I could really get fit and healthy?
  • What If… I could be an artist?
  • What If… I could have a job, business, or career I really love?
  • What If… I could find true love?
  • What If… I could travel and see all the places I dream of?

When we say What If… it opens our imaginations to new possibilities, and creates a strong vision of our desires. It makes the feelings well up within us of what it would be like. It gives us hope… that we really can create our desires in our lives. It makes it more real. The feelings and imaginings are actually an attracting factor! Focus on your vision often, and the positive emotions of happiness and freedom that you experience. You will be surprised at what shows up, and the way the Universe will support you.

Really going for your dreams is a decision… and a commitment. Yes, it may still take planning, focus, discipline, effort, and sometimes even courage. But making your vision a reality will be so worth it!

So… what if… you start now?!

About Those New Year’s Resolutions…

Many of us have made some New Year’s Resolutions. Have You? Now that we are a few weeks into the year… how are you feeling about them? How are they working out?

I’d like to offer the perspective of ease and enjoyment. Be gentle with yourself. Think about your desires. Try not to take everything on at once. Perhaps just focus on a few at a time. Don’t push so hard. Make it enjoyable… even fun! You know… Happy Life!

Want to drop a few pounds and be more energetic and fit? Make it a celebration of health and well-being. Make a list of your favorite foods and lighten them up a bit. Add more colorful fruits and vegetables. Explore other cuisines and try something new. Put on some loud upbeat dance music and dance around your living room for a half hour. Have fun with it!

Trying to achieve something? Remember your passion and purpose… your deeper why. Stay inspired.

Really want to change your lifestyle or job/career? Get crystal clear on your desire and your values. Create a compelling vision for yourself and follow through one small step at a time. Keep the faith and believe you will create your life as you wish it to be.

Life doesn’t have to be hard. We are meant to enjoy our lives and our everyday moments even while creating our dreams. So… relax and play with your New Year’s Resolutions. You chose them to make you feel happy and good… so be happy and feel good now!

Time Is The Currency Of Your Life

Time! Sweet Time! Time is the currency of our lives… moment by moment, day by day, week by week… and so it goes. How we live our time is how we live our lives.

Twenty-Four hours in a day. How many of them are you living deliberately? How does where you spend your time and focus your attention jive with what is most important to you?

Every now and then it may be wonderfully refreshing to stop and re-evaluate how you are spending your time and ask yourself some important questions… such as:

  • How do I really want to live my life?
  • How much of my time is devoted to what I really enjoy and what has meaning to me?
  • What do I wish I had time to do, learn, or experience?
  • What is most important to me at this stage of my life?
  • What would I regret not doing or experiencing if I didn’t get to it?
  • Who would I love to spend more quality time with?
  • What do I truly desire?
  • What do I need?

Clarity is the first step to arranging your life for more happiness and fulfillment. Being honest with yourself is key here. Think about all the things you would love to do, and all the things that delight you… past-times and activities. And all the people that you adore that it would be so wonderful to spend enjoyable time with.

Claiming back your time is the second step. You must take back your time to create the life you really want to live. If you don’t claim your time, no one will give it to you. It is yours. Your life. Your time.

I know… so many demands on your time… endless details, tasks and responsibilities. Our modern lives are so jam packed that life for most women has become a never ending to do list. It doesn’t have to be that way. If we really desire certain experiences to be a part of our lives… we have to plan and schedule them in first! We have to decide what is most important, what is essential, and what is not. Arranging time is really an art. Being true to ourselves about what we say yes to and what we say no to is incredibly important. What choices are we making with our time to create a fulfilling, satisfying and happy life?

Time is precious. It is vital to consciously choose how to spend it for a rich and enjoyable, happy life experience. Every minute of every day does not have to be regimented and productive. Think ease. Think delight. Think fun. What can you do to arrange your life and time to live a life you love? What can you let go of? Get out your day book and calendar and write in the things you desire most and that light you up! Make this a sacred agreement with yourself. It will nourish you heart and soul. This is your life. You deserve to be happy and live it the way your heart and soul yearns for it to be! Your Life. Your Time. Your Choice. Make it wonderful!

“The things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the
things that matter least”    … Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Re- Connection

I’ve been feeling a great desire for re-connection. This past year and a half has been very isolating, for me… and for most people. The global devastation and sadness of the pandemic has forced us to be extremely cautious about venturing out. It has also made us hold our loved ones closer and deeply appreciate the preciousness of our lives.

I feel the need to re-connect with those I have shared my life with in some way…acquaintances and friends from years past and present. Everyone seems so dear to me right now, and I am so thankful of the blessings they have brought to my life.

Now that we are starting to emerge a bit more… I find myself anticipating new experiences and relishing time with family and friends.

I am also extremely aware of the gift of my own life. I want to be fully present, I want to really taste life and consciously make choices that create joy and happiness. I have been contemplating… what is true for me right now… what do I want?

It is this… Deep connection to myself, God, people. Not just skimming by on the surface. Not mundane. Not superficial. A life of creativity, fulfillment, joy, laughter, intimacy, kindness. Realness. Connection.

How about you? What are your thoughts, feelings, and desires? What new experiences would you love to have? What and whom are you holding dear? What really has meaning now? What new adventures would you like to have? What new thing would you like to learn or try?

This is our time to make our lives wonderful! Let’s make grand plans!

Enjoying Life In These Unusual Times

At the end of last year and the beginning of this one, I was very sick with a violent upper respiratory that landed me in the hospital with pneumonia. When I got out and recovered, I was so happy to be healthy again! I made a list of all the fun things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go come the spring. Of course these things didn’t happen because the pandemic hit. So… in these unusual times things had to shift from what I wanted to do to what I wanted to learn. And I filled my time doing just that.

Life is like that. We have to adjust and go with the flow… but also be the creators in our lives and consciously decide what we desire our life experience to be.

There is such a fine line for me these days… staying informed without getting overwhelmed. Being empathetic and compassionate without letting the sorrow and turmoil of the world numb me or make me feel fearful or angry.

It is so important to be hopeful… to have faith, and to believe in the inherent goodness of human beings. Also… to keep my heart open, and to love deeply. Staying centered and connected to my Inner Spirit is vital to keep from being swept into the chaos!

We have to care for ourselves and our loved ones now in very special ways. We have to take the time to be quiet and reflect upon our thoughts and feelings… to nurture… to deepen our relationships and have intimate conversations and connection.

How do we create the well-being that we need so much in these unusual times? How do we care for ourselves, our family and friends and communities too… physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? How do we create enjoyment, well-being, and even fun? Laughter is so healing. How do we lighten up our days?

One way of course is counting our blessings… giving thanks that we and our loved ones are healthy. And then embracing this wonderful gift of life that we have been given.

Meditation, prayer, journaling… these things may help as well. They keep us close to our inner being and create peace and calm. Yoga, dance and exercise are also good. So are the arts… creating with paint or fabric, collage… color, texture, pattern. Or music! Sing, play your instruments, surround yourself with great music. I am reminded of all the singers serenading people in Italy during their lock down… and all the wonderful recording artists sharing their music and their gifts on social media and television. Anything that engages you creatively will make you feel good.

Another way is to decide to be happy. Yes… make that decision for yourself and then make choices that support your happiness. Be focused and aware of how you are creating your life… what you are saying yes to, and what you would prefer to say no to. Put your attention on every single good thing in your life… from the birds singing in the trees to the clean water coming out of your faucet. Shifting our attention to the good seems to bring more good! And it makes us feel better too.

Make a life list! All the things you would like to do and experience! Remember… keep the faith! Then figure out how you can give yourself the essence of the experience now, until the time comes when you could actually have it. For instance… I can’t go to Europe now but I can be an armchair traveler with videos. I am not ready to buy my home yet but I can design it and enjoy my decorating file. You get the idea. Plan your grand adventures. Plan your garden. Have fun thinking about your life and your dreams! Get creative!

Reaching out to family and friends is more important than ever now. So many people feel isolated and alone. A simple meet up outside for coffee or iced tea can be all it takes to lift our spirits and give us the connection and companionship we are yearning for. I have been having Zoom visits with friends too!

For those that are experiencing times of sorrow or ill health I pray that you find comfort and light and that you recover and heal swiftly and completely. These are unusual times and many lives have been impacted.

May all be well with you and yours, and may blessings abound in your lives.

Fun Things To Do During This Time Of Isolation

  • Projects around the house… deep spring cleaning (open the windows… blast some great music… and have fun with this), small repairs, organize closets and drawers, de-clutter, re-decorate, re-arrange the furniture, paint the walls a different color, refinish/paint furniture, sort through papers/magazines/books
  • Plan a garden, look at gardening videos and tours of beautiful gardens, order gardening catalogs or view them online
  • Watch all the movies that you always wanted to see… especially comedies
  • Do virtual tours of museums
  • Watch travel videos and explore new places and cultures
  • HGTV decorating shows, Food Network cooking shows, etc
  • Cull your cookbooks for new recipes to try, plan menus, bake bread
  • Download books from the library… enjoy finally having some quiet time to read
  • Art/ Craft videos… actually get out some paints or fabric or wood and start playing and creating… just for the fun of it
  • Sing and make music… see some of Jimmy Fallon’s videos making music with other musicians using toys and ordinary objects
  • Have a dance party… put on some music and dance… solo or with the people you are cloistered with, belly dance… joyful and so good for the spirit
  • Board games… play with those you live with or virtually with friends and family, or solo online
  • Cards… canasta anyone?
  • Crossword puzzles and brain teasers
  • Jigsaw puzzles
  • Concerts, opera and Broadway shows online… also You Tube music videos… (I love The Voice… and those from different countries)
  • Watch nature videos… learn about this magnificent planet that we live on
  • Learn something new… You Tube has how-to videos on a multitude of subjects
  • Ted Talks lecture series by many notable authors and experts on a variety of topics
  • Play charades with your family… be silly
  • Call all your friends and people you have lost touch with to reconnect
  • Write in your journal… express your feelings and thoughts
  • Meditate and pray… go within… connect deeply with Spirit and your Inner Being
  • Exercise and yoga videos… move and stretch your body
  • If in the country or suburbs… take a walk
  • Spa time… take a long, luxurious hot bath with fragrant body wash and candles and soft music and a stemware glass with something lovely to drink… give yourself a mani/pedi
  • Just Be! Sit… be still and do nothing for awhile. Look out your window and watch the rain fall or the sunlight through the trees.