Create Your Beliefs To Match Your Desires

We all have many beliefs… about ourselves, other people, and a myriad of subjects on all manner of things in this world. Some of these beliefs are positive, and some are not. Many beliefs were instilled in us along the way in our lives by others. And some are a true authentic inner knowing, that we feel as truth with every fiber of our being.

What we believe greatly impacts our lives. Our happiness, well-being, fulfillment and satisfaction with life… our self-expression and creativity… our relationships… what we choose to do or not do; all are affected by our beliefs.

Contrary to what most people think, our beliefs are not static. They could be examined and sorted through. Discovering their source is enlightening. If they are negative… they could be challenged, refuted, changed… and a new positive belief chosen and cultivated.

Most of us have a tendency to only dare dream about what we believe to be possible or probable. We adjust our desires to match our beliefs. It should be the other way around! Create your beliefs to match your desires!!!

So…What keeps showing up in your life? What do you believe about it? Are your beliefs contributing to your happiness and well-being? Or are they hindering you and limiting the way you live your life? Are they Love based or fear based? Are you wishing for what you only believe to be possible, or for what you truly desire?

What do you Really, Really want? Ask yourself… What must I now Allow myself to believe? That is the belief to choose, cultivate and reinforce in your mind and heart… consciously… with intention and awareness. Thoughts and feelings have energy. That is where your power is. That is where your faith is. Do not limit the Unlimited! Create a vision for your life that is joyful and compelling. Give your new belief your attention everyday until it takes root and becomes natural to you.

Working with your beliefs in this way is powerful and will enhance your life in many ways. The truth is… you are a creative being, and you have the ability to create your life and realize your true desires.

 “It is as easy to create a castle as a button. It’s just a matter of whether you’re focused on a castle or a button.”
~ Abraham-Hicks

“Everything is energy, and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
~ Albert Einstein

Creating La Dolce Vita (The Sweet Life)

La Dolce Vita. The Sweet Life. What images and feelings come to your mind when you think about these phrases? What daydreams do they evoke? What meaning does it have?

For me, it means friends and family around a table laden with food… cooking together, laughing, talking, sharing. And sometimes a wonderful intimacy… having deep, meaningful conversations in front of a lovely fire or over tea at the kitchen table.

It makes me think of relaxed creativity, of savoring nature and all the beauty of the seasons… and the specialness that each one brings. It makes me think of home, and love… and the joy of living in this magical world. Enjoyment, beauty, renewal, pleasure, snug security, comfort, sensuality, and serenity. The delights of home and nature and art and those we love. A beautiful earthy zest for living and embracing the joy and adventure of life every day.

Living well. Taking the time and care for the every day things. Being close to Spirit… your Inner Being and the intuition it offers you. Being fully present in each moment and savoring the beauty and deliciousness of life.

For me it also means rich experiences… the arts… paintings and sculptures, literature, theatre, imagery, music and concerts, movies… the myriad ways of creative self-expression that humans through the ages and around the world have put forth.

One way to think about this is: Romancing Your Life! Infusing it with grace and beauty and delight. So how do we create this for ourselves?

We can begin by making our everyday activities beautiful and special… perhaps adding in the small, lovely rituals that enhance our lives and create a feeling of being nurtured and even pampered. Set a beautiful table for your meals. Have lovely surroundings that are comfortable and beautiful. Wear clothes that you love and that look and feel wonderful. Give yourself time in the mornings and evenings to begin and end your day with peace and joy. Surround yourself with loved ones and all the good that life has to offer… enjoyment, laughter, love. And mark the special occasions of life with festive celebration.

Create your life with intention and vision! This is your life! Here… now! Create delight for yourself every day! Create La Dolce Vita…The Sweet Life!

“Derive pleasure from the gift of pure being. Life is to be savored… luxuriated in”
~from the film The Martian Chronicles

This Precious Day Of Your Life

Who does this day belong to… if not you?

This precious day of your life…

Did you have something really delicious to eat?

Did you have some quiet solitude?

Did you renew your faith and feel your own Divinity?

Did you express your love and creativity?

Did you have soul satisfying conversations and deep connections?

Did you belly laugh?

Did you rest… truly relax…body, mind, heart, and soul?

Did you feel peaceful and happy?

Did something inspire or fascinate you… or fill you with wonder, enchantment, awe?

Did you see beauty… in yourself, other people, nature, art?

Did you observe someone being kind… and did your heart swell with love for them?

Did you do something today that you enjoy… that truly delights you?

Did you take the time to acknowledge yourself for all that you are… and love yourself dearly?

This precious day of your life…

Were you completely present for every moment of your life?

Have you expressed yourself with honesty, grace, and authenticity?

If you work… have you brought your love, caring and passion to it?

Have you nurtured yourself… body, mind, heart, and spirit?

Have you shared moments of closeness and affection with those you love?

Have you truly, deeply, completely, passionately loved another?

Have you lived your truth and honored your most cherished values?

This precious day of your life…

Is yours to fulfill your hopes and dreams… to love… to express your unique beingness and creativity… to use your gifts and talents, skills and knowledge… and to be freely in this magnificent world… to exalt in your senses, to feel joy, and to remember that you are a Divine Being. Remember to live your life as the gift that it is… that you are!


“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive…
to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
~Marcus Aurelius

Life Design… Creating A Compelling Vision For Your Life


I love the idea of deliberately creating life to match a loved and cherished vision of one’s deepest desires and dreams. To actually design and arrange life for fulfillment, happiness, and enjoyment.

I was first introduced to this perspective of personal choices in the 80’s… from people like Barbara Sher (who I consider the mother of life coaching) in her wonderful books, and also the brilliant and amazing author and workshop leader Shakti Gawain.

To craft a personal, authentic vision for your life… four simple (but profound) things should be considered and contemplated honestly with care and awareness.

  • What do you really, really want? What are the dreams of your heart?
  • What do you really need to be happy, nurtured, and fulfilled?
  • Who do you love? Who are the most important people in your life?
  • What do you love? What are you passionate about? What holds deep meaning for you?

Are you living the life you really want to live? What are the obstacles to that? What would have to be present in your life to make it the way you wish it to be? What would delight and fulfill you?

What would make you look back on your life when you are very, very, (VERY!) old; and smile with happiness and satisfaction… and a feeling of deep peace and contentment with who you are and how you have lived? Now that’s something to think about!

Clarity has to come first. One cannot create something without knowing what to create. Our lives won’t magically change for the better unless we first start to pay attention to ourselves, and our real feelings, dreams and desires… and then to honor them. Then we can begin to make the choices and changes that will nurture our happiness and well-being in all *aspects of our lives. Think emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Start to play in your imagination. Explore all the wonderful possibilities for your life. Allow yourself to daydream and fantasize (even if you’re a hard-core realist). What if…? What would it be like if I…? I always wanted to…! Maybe I could do it this way! Perhaps I could make that happen! It’s important to keep your imagination free and unfettered.

Visualize your ideal life in great detail. Be colorful! Be specific! Write down your vision. Create a vision board. What would you absolutely love waking up to in the morning? What new adventures and experiences would you like to have? What would you be doing? Who would you be seeing? What is your home like? What do you truly love? Most of all… how would you feel?

Now think about what is really essential to your happiness, fulfillment and well-being. Start brainstorming how to include those things into your everyday life now. Let inspiration guide you to begin to make the changes to make your vision a reality. Plan and do. Challenge the status quo. Life by design, not default. Gift yourself with a life that truly delights you.

May you create a magnificent vision of your life as it could be… and may the reality of your vision manifest beautifully!


“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.”
~ Carl Jung


*The Ten Aspects Of Life:

Family/Friends ~ Health/Well-Being ~ Fun/Play ~ Creativity ~ Personal Growth ~ Home/Environment ~ Money/Wealth ~ Spirit ~ Love/Romance ~ Work/Career

Thriving! … Not Striving Or Merely Surviving

To thrive means to flourish and prosper…. to feel good all or most of the time. It means that you are living a happy, healthy life.

Thriving is knowing what makes you happy and being sure to make space for it in your daily life. It is knowing what makes you feel connected and in tune with yourself, God, other people, nature… at peace and in touch in a deep way to your inner being… your soul. It is being aware of your mindset and your energy… the way your life, thoughts, emotions and actions feel. It is acknowledging your dreams and desires.

Thriving means embracing and savoring the rich experiences of life, and cherishing the gift that it is. It means being open to new perspectives, ideas, thoughts and adventures. Deliberately creating sensual delights for yourself and weaving them into the fabric of your everyday life… comforts, beauty, lovely food, etc.

Deborah Szekely (owner of the world-famous Golden Door and Rancho La Puerta Spas) was asked by Peggy Kennedy (editor of Victoria Magazine):

What do you hope your guests will take home with them?

Her answer:

“First, the ability to daydream. Next the ability to ask yourself about everything you do… Is it life enhancing or life diminishing?”

And her comment on aging well:

“One needs to find a sustaining passion, a raison d’etre, something you really think is worth doing.”

I love that simple advice. I also think that to thrive is a deliberate creation… an art and grace to living. I think too that it is an openness to life and new ideas and experiences. Creating excitement, anticipation of new adventures, challenging the status quo. It also has to do with self-expression. Sometimes it’s good to shake things up a bit (in a good way)!

A client came into the salon for her haircut and color. She was in her late 40’s, attractive, and with a very classic look… strawberry blond hair cut into a simple bob. She said… I want to speak with you about doing something a little different! I was thinking of making the underneath back of my hair bright purple! I was a little surprised, but fascinated. When we talked further, she explained that she and her husband decided they were not going to say ‘no’ to new things… no matter what other people would think and say! They wanted new and exciting experiences in their lives.

I think that’s great! If you want something, do it! Please yourself! Play. Life should be fun and exciting. New things to anticipate and look forward to. New experiences, inspirations… new people to meet and share with.

Life is too precious to live it by rote in a mundane manner, just checking things off a to-do list. Or living superficially… striving, struggling, or being so exhausted that we barely make it through our days. That is not living… it is merely surviving.

Years ago in Manhattan, I had a boss who was in his 70’s… a force to be reckoned with! He ran two businesses and a full social life. He was engaged with life, people, and the world around him. He was very liberal, and also very opinionated. He was a bit eccentric and was living quite the life! He told me: “The only sin is being bored. Life is a gift… really enjoy it.” Great advice! And a great way to think about and live life!

Now what about you? What would make you really thrive? What new things would you bring into your life? What fresh new ideas will you entertain? What fascinates and inspires you? What are you passionate about? How can you shake things up a bit and create more excitement, more color, more flavor to your days?

Have fun contemplating all the new possibilities and experiences you would like to have in your life! And I hope you create a life you truly love and that you too will thrive!

Perchance To Dream… The Nature Of Desire

“Desire is the beginning of all new creation” ~Abraham-Hicks

We all have desires. We all have dreams. We will always have them as long as we are alive! Our desires deserve our full and honest acknowledgement and attention. They provide messages and clues for the fulfillment of our dreams and the actualization of our unique gifts. We should embrace them… they lead us to joy and satisfaction in life. They are the urgings of our inner truth… communication from our heart and soul.

Our dreams and desires are vital to our happiness and well-being. They summon life force (Abraham- Hicks). They propel us forward on our journey through life, and inspire us to bring forth the aspects of our being that are seeking expression. It is through our desires, dreams, yearnings, passions, and love that we find fulfillment, meaning, and deeper purpose in our lives.

Desires are a natural part of our human experience. We can be very appreciative and thankful for all the blessings we have in our lives, and still have desires. They keep us engaged with life… living deeply and vibrantly, not superficially.

We are creators. We are always evolving. If we take the time to go within ourselves… to listen and feel… and dream and visualize, then we will find the guidance to realize our dreams. We must use our imaginations to create a vivid vision of our desires… and focus on it often with joy and pleasure.

What is your vision for your life? What are your most heart-felt dreams and desires? What would you really like to create in your life now? These are simple but profound questions that deserve honest contemplation.

Some people have desires nagging at them just below the surface of their consciousness that they barely admit to themselves… perhaps because they don’t believe they are realistic. But denying them deprives them of their real happiness and of enjoying the many possibilities that may exist for them.

Gift yourself with a life you really love. Take the time to get in touch with what you really want your life to be. Each day is precious. Our desires realized create a richer experience of life. Make the changes necessary to bring about your most cherished dreams and desires. And may all your dreams manifest beautifully in your life, and bring you happiness and fulfillment!

“A dream is a wish your heart makes”
~Walt Disney song

“Cherish your visions and your dreams…
as they are the children of your soul”
~ Napoleon Hill

“Our imagination is a gift from God… it is the bridge that connects
our desires to our realizations.
The use of imagination fulfills dreams and allows
miracles to come into our lives. It is the source of creative power.”

From the Book… Out Of The Blue 
~ Mark Victor Hansen & Barbara Nichols

Facing Down Your Inner Judge

Everyone has that voice in their head that judges them harshly or instills fear when they try to shake up the status quo. In life coaching we call it The Saboteur. This is the voice that stops you in your tracks every time you venture from your comfort zone and want to make changes in your life. It creates anxiety and self-doubt. One woman aptly named hers “the little bitch in my head.”

The saboteur is the inner critic… the voice that chastises you. It is the censor… the voice that stops you from expressing your thoughts and feelings for fear of how you will be perceived, judged or labeled, or even not loved. It is the editor… the voice that has you sugar coat your authentic voice instead of speaking your truth. Some people have learned to overcome it better than others, and refuse to have it stop them from going for their dreams and desires.

The good news is that this inner aspect is not who you really are. It comprises a very small part of your inner dialogue. Being aware of its voice and message is the first step in dealing with it.

We humans are complex beings. We have many different aspects of our personality, and the saboteur/judge is just one of them. The trick is to never let the saboteur/judge call the shots. Once you recognize its nasty and fearful inner voice… you can consciously choose to call on any of the more confident and passionate parts of yourself; and allow those aspects to take charge of your thoughts, emotions, decisions and actions.

A great example of this comes from the late Shakti Gawain, who was an author and popular workshop leader. I was privileged to spend five months with Shakti in one of her intensives in California in 1986. She told us how she would prepare herself when she was speaking to large audiences. She would do the inner work first. She was passionate about her message and fully believed in her work. So, before she went on stage, she would tuck her vulnerable “Inner Child” into bed with a kiss and put an Angel by her side… and then she would put her radiant “Inner Star” in charge. It worked! She was always fabulous!

Another way to deal with it is play. That inner judge voice reminds me of my computer security system that warns me of an unsafe url address: “Whoa… Do You Really Want To Go There?” On the computer I heed the warning. With a fearful thought that is stopping me from putting myself out into the world and following my dreams… I say: “You’re not the boss of me!” And I choose my passion, my dreams… and put those positive aspects of myself into being.

Try this the next time you are facing a situation or circumstance that has you fretting or feeling insecure about something you would love to do… or need to do. First, label that voice as your inner judge/saboteur. Then, choose differently. Get quiet and go within. Ask your Inner Being for guidance and begin to acknowledge the wonderful and varied aspects of yourself. Choose to listen to the inner voices that are kind and confident and full of wisdom. Put your Higher Self in charge.

Life is too precious and beautiful to allow the inner judge to run the show. You show it who’s the boss!

The two links below are great to read… (they are safe to open). One is by the wonderful author Elizabeth Gilbert, and the other is by one of my colleagues Matt Gagnon.

Matt Gagnon Letter To His Saboteur

Fear Graphic From Elizabeth Gilbert.docx

“Remember that the minute you take your first step into the life of your dreams,
the first to greet you there will be fear. Nod. Keep Walking.”
~ Brianna Wiest

Being True To Yourself… Honoring Your Personal Values

“This Above All: To Thine Own Self Be True”
~ William Shakespeare

Ah Shakespeare! We have all heard this before. But if we really took these words to heart, how would we live?

Have you ever thought about what your true, most heart-felt values are in your life? Give yourself some quiet, private time to tune into yourself and get in touch with them. Make a list. What has deep meaning for you? What is very important, even sacred to you? What do you value most in life? What do you live by? What values of yours reflect who you are as a human being… a spiritual being?

Now look at your life… and how you live it day by day. Where in your life are your values honored, by yourself and others? Where may they be compromised?

A good way to discover your values is to be aware of how you really feel… to check in with your thoughts, emotions and body. Does your body feel relaxed, open, expansive? Or tight, tense and contracted? Are there uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that are pushed away and ignored? Or is there a feeling of peace and contentment?

This is a great way to discern whether we are being true to ourselves and honoring our values in any given situation, circumstance, or with any person. It helps us create healthy boundaries and make choices that are aligned with our true nature and well-being.

What would it feel like to really honor your values, feelings, and desires every day of your life? What would change for you? How might this give you deeper satisfaction, fulfillment, and a more authentic life experience?

Now, with this insight and self-reflection… what new possibilities, choices, and well-being will you create in your life? 

“There Is Only One Success:
To Be Able To Live Your Life In Your Own Way”
~ Henry David Thoreau

 “Our values represent our unique and individual essence, our ultimate and most fulfilling form of expressing and relating. Our values are who we are. They serve as a compass pointing out what it means to be true to oneself.”
~ Co-Active Coaching… Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, & Phillip Sandahl

Unfinished Creative Dreams

The book not written. The paintings not painted. The half finished crocheted coverlet tucked away in a closet. The beautiful flower garden not planted. Perhaps most of us can relate to this… the visions and loved projects from our younger days abandoned because of the demands of modern life.

While going through some files and journals recently, I came across some things I wrote many years ago. A whole journal of creative visions that I had planned to turn into paintings! Now, painting has been on the ‘backburner’ of my life for a great number of years. It won’t be front and center unless I make some changes. I am the only one who can do that. You know… actually make plans, and create the time and space for this beautiful and vital part of myself to express in this way, and bring these visions to life on a canvas.

There were other things in those files too. Written pieces, poems etc. How did I ever get so disconnected from them? How did I allow life and ‘to-dos’ to take over? And now, what am I going to do about it?

What about you? Do you have any unfinished creative dreams or projects hidden away? If you bring them out… do they still inspire you, and spark that magical emotional response of joy, passion, and excitement?

Or perhaps you have things that you have always wanted to do or learn. What if now was the time to get in touch with that desire? It is never too late in life to enjoy the things that fascinate or inspire us… to add the pleasure into our daily life in some way.

What if you could re-arrange your life to give these desires top priority… and allow them your time and energy? Imagine how your life can be enriched, and how fulfilling it could be.

I think creating time in our busy lives for things we love and enjoy is a really important thing to do. We can all be busy 24/7… but are we doing things that nurture us… that make our hearts happy and fill our souls with joy and satisfaction?

What would those things be for you? Your life can be enhanced in so many ways if you gift yourself with the activities and pleasurable creative pursuits that you love.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda… Dealing With the Regrets That Haunt Us

We all have things in our past that we regret… perceived mistakes, decisions made, opportunities not taken. Things that, with hindsight, could have worked out better. Most of us beat ourselves up mentally and emotionally for what we shoulda done, coulda done, or woulda done if only we knew then what we know now.

It’s time to release the past. It’s time to let go of all the old baggage, emotional angst, and self-bashing stories we rehash in our minds. These heavy thoughts of guilt, shame, and regret weigh down our energy, and rob us of our joy and well-being. It’s time to realize we did the best we could at the time. We are all human… and there is not one among us who has lived a perfect, regret free life.

How much of your past are you still carrying around?

It’s time to wipe the slate clean… to consciously let go of toxic thoughts, emotions, and regret. It’s time to breathe a breath of fresh air and begin to create anew.

It’s time to love yourself enough to forgive yourself and reset your focus on the present… right here, right now.

It’s time to create your life with brand new energy and unlimited possibilities! Now is where your power is. Tap into your natural enthusiasm, passion, inspiration, and love of life. Honor yourself and who you are and what you know now. Be kind to yourself.

If you find yourself dwelling on the shoulda, coulda, woulda thoughts of regret in the future… be aware… and kick them to the curb and let them go. Remind yourself of who you really are… a beloved and divine being. Think kind, compassionate thoughts of love and self-value. And bring yourself back to the present. You have the power to choose your thoughts, and thereby affect your feelings. Bless the past and move on. You deserve to be happy.

 “Don’t live your life regretting yesterday. Live your life so tomorrow you won’t regret today.” ~ Catherine Pulsifer

“Stop fretting about past decisions. They have provided valuable wisdom. Go forward without fear or regret.” ~ Paul Martens

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” ~ Victoria Holt